Secrets

The hardest part of being pregnant so far is not being able to tell anyone. Trying to wait until the 12 week point is like torture. When it’s someone else’s secret, I can take it to the grave. My own secrets I want to sing from the rooftops. Surely this is strange behaviour being a Scorpio Rising?

Anyway, I had to tell my boss today. We were doing dry needling techniques in a class around the sacrum, and I knew it was a contraindication for me. It was also awkward to tell him as we’d been in meetings all week about me getting a bit of a promotion. I’d been sitting in these meetings knowing I wouldn’t be here after October.

But it was all ok. He gave me a big hug and congratulated me. Made a joke that it wouldn’t get me out of doing my work. It was such a relief to tell him. It has eased the urge to tell people for a while….

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Surprise

So I confess, I find myself in a blogging conundrum today.

I started this blog several months after I became single, and thought I might have enough interesting stories to tell. I have many blogs posts already written, that I was going to drip feed into the blog, admittedly, some of them months after they happened.

And then I met a guy. And fell into a relationship.

I resisted with all my strength, but he was tenacious. Not that I was completely passive in this – I really like him. I just wasn’t sure I was ready. I knew in my heart the next long term relationship was IT – but I thought I had more single adventures to have!!!  Hence why the blog has slowed down considerably after only a couple of posts. He’s a Virgo, and I have never spent much time in the company of Virgos, especially male ones. All my previous significant relationships were with Fire signs – two Leos and and Aries. So we spent most of the first two months adapting to the completely opposing energies that we were bringing to this relationship.

And then…I found out last week I was pregnant.

I suspected it for a week before that. I’m not on the pill, so I track my cycle pretty closely. I was using condoms, before anyone asks. I went to him and cried. This relationship was so new still, not even three months old. This was the last thing we needed, when we were still trying to get to know each other.  I was going to keep it – I’m pro choice, but it didn’t feel right for me personally.

But he was wonderful. He cried too. Told me he loved me, had been wanting to say it for weeks. He’d known from the start I was the one. He was just waiting for me to realise it too. We went to the doctor the next day together and had it confirmed.

So…now our conversations revolve around our new plans. Moving in together, doctors appointments, finances, baby names…and still getting to know each other. This journey just keeps getting more interesting.

So the theme of the blog is changing slightly. I’ll probably still post some of the single stories – let’s see how two themes run together. After all, this is still all my post Saturn Return story…

Facebook

This whole dating scene is new to me. The only guys I’ve ever dated were friends, and a relationship just evolved out of being the only two within a social circle single at the same time. Hardly anyone even used the internet when I was 20, and Facebook didn’t exist.

So someone please let me know if there is an updated etiquette guide around when do you become facebook friends with a guy, and when do you remove them when it becomes glaringly apparent you do not want them in your life?

I love singlegirlblogging who declared that she would rather sleep with a guy than become facebook friends with him. And now I whole heartedly agree. There are guys on there that I had ONE date with. Can I just remove them? I’m hoping I never run into them in person again. The ones that I gave the “I’m just not ready for a relationship yet” line to are going to see when I am in another relationship.

I’m not trashing fb. I freaking love it. Especially when you first meet someone, tell me you don’t immediately check out their facebook. Photos, friends…security settings are just a tease. What if they like some random pages? (I ran a mile from someone who had an extraordinary amount of hunting and gun clubs as his “likes”). Or they’re drunk in every photo? Every “friend” is blond with big tits? Which one’s the ex? Etc etc…..

Of course, there’s a line to cross. My Aquarian single girlfriend is obsessive, in the nicest possible way. It’s not unusual for me to get a text saying that the guy she’s seeing has just “liked” some other girls photo. Or that said girl has liked and commented on every update he’s posted in the last six weeks. Too much time on her hands?

Another scenario happened to me recently. After dating a guy for a fortnight, he asked when I was intending on changing my status to “in a relationship”. I FREAKED OUT. A fortnight? So far for me, this is just convenient, very regular sex. I haven’t seen that option on fb before. That became a big issue for him. Along with the fact that the last few people I had become ‘friends’ with were all male. Trying to explain that one of them was him, one a workmate, one a student…nope, I was definitely cheating on him.

Things are complicated these days.

A snob?

So eventually, after breaking up with Aries Chef, I was ready to start dating again. I hadn’t been single since I was 20. I am now 30, and fairly sure I’m going to do single so much better this time. No scary internet stuff for me, I begged friends and colleagues to set me up with guys. Which is even more scary sometimes…I wanted to say “really? Is that how you see me….with that guy?!” But no matter. Lots of frogs before you find a prince, right?

It’s about this time that I discovered I had become a massive snob.

Well maybe not massive. I am prone to exaggeration.

But definitely snobbish. And likely to judge you fairly quickly, and fatally.

The first proper date I went on started off amazing for me. He picked me up in his car. It was the first time I had ever been picked up in a car for a date. It was the first time I’d been out with a guy that owned a car. (Yes, I have low standards.) He was insanely nervous. That put me off. A little nervous is sweet. A lot nervous makes me wonder if a) he’s ever done this before or b) he’s going to chop me up in little pieces at the end of the night, and add me to the collection under his house.

He took me to a pub.

I hope I was polite about it. But seriously? A pub? Don’t get me wrong, I like a steak as much as the next carnivore, but to me, a pub is not first date first impression stuff. If you consider a top night out to impress someone the pub, we are not going to get along.

And we didn’t.  Well, I didn’t. Next.

The second date was a group setting. A workmate, his wife, their friend. Lovely guy. Getting on really well, funny, a couple of things in common, enough different interests to keep conversation flowing. Then they suggested he pick the wine. He chose a New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc.

I don’t want to offend anyone here. I love wine. It is my favourite hobby of all time. The only magazine I buy is the Wine Companion. There is only one type of wine that I do not drink. And here it is. I had been assured by workmate that this guy knew his wine. And no, he didn’t.

Before you start defending him about the obviously limited choices that are usually on an Indian restaurants wine list, can I point out that there was a Vasse Felix Chardonnay for the same price.

Sigh. Next.

Too picky?

First impressions, and all that

So… hi. This is awkward.

I decided to start this anonymous blog after my Saturn return, and survived it. I thought I had everything sorted, and it turns out I didn’t. Like with most challenges, and sudden changes I’m grateful for it now, but it’s so hard to see at the time. Life at 30, single, has been an adventure so far, and I wanted to share it with whomever is interested in reading. I end up in some pretty funny/stupid/ridiculous situations so I hope I entertain you as much as I enjoy careening from one situation to the next.